New Moon

As I read Edwards promise to Bella that he will never leave her again, I
find myself surprisingly jealous of the fictional character. But at the
same time appreciative that such characters exist that explained my self
torture so well. New Moon definately describes me a little too well...
the fact that edward comes back makes it hard for me to finish the book
though, but I appreciate it all the same..

One part of the story, Bella talks about being fair to the others that
love her, and although her romeo doesn't want her love, is it okay for
her to share a small piece of that with Jacob. She compares Jacob to
Paris from Romeo and Juliet.. I feel like that entire situation
seriously hit home for me.

I can't believe such a book can mirror my own life.

Unlike Bella though, I am determined to be happy and I don't scream in
my sleep, I just talk sleep or not sleep @ all..

Time is passing and the hole in my heart is no longer raw, just
sensitive to the touch. Maybe time does heal most wounds after all... it
doesn't change the love you will always have though, I don't think so
anyway.

I wonder if people knew how broken I feel most of the time would I get
as much attention as I do. The one person who did know nearly collapsed
under the pressure I had applied. Sometimes I feel as if I were a
starved vampire that sucked her dry while telling her sweet words. Scary
enough that's probably accurate.

As I said though, I am letting go and trying to be a different person
because I like living, and dying slowly from a broken heart isn't my
ideal way of going out.

Lady S and I may have lunch together tomorro since its suppose 2 b a
nice day. I hope I make it back to work on time, hee hee...
--
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