Friday, May 8, 2009

20 Going on 30

Feeling excruciatingly tired. Today is my mothers graduation, then tomorrow @ 7am I am delivering flowers. Doing the same thing on Sunday as well. I really want to enjoy my weekend but between Mothers day, Family Visiting and Delivery, i doubt I'll be doing much of that.

I'm planning on going hiking next weekend anyway.

I had to cancel it this weekend because of my mothers graduation and Mothers Day.

I am kinda upset because, my mom told me nto to forget to buy everyone a Mothers Day card. I mean it wasnt anything to get upset about, but i feel that if I give, its because I want to give not because some Hallmark holiday told me too. I hate feeling obligated to do things.


Rapper Chick's party was quite boring. Physically she is my type, mentally I wanna slap her. She is extremely self absorbed. I thought you had to at least make your first million before you became arrogant... Guess I was wrong....

She invited me to another party, but I highly doubt I'll go. I did like staying out late but being around her is not my ideal way of spending my time on Earth.

Her and I have text back and forth, but in the end it means nothing.

Sometimes I really do miss the feeling of a secure relationship, other times I miss when I was happy that I wasn't some Love Sick woman. Love has definately changed my views on people and the idea of family. Corrections will be starting soon (if I get accepted), my first step into permanency. The job I may retire from is only but a few months away.

  • Did I grow up too fast?

I'm only 20, and sometimes I feel as if I'm 30.

I dont relate to many of my peers because I'm simply not interested in the

'next club thats free for ladies til 9'.

I'm happy at home with my movies, cats, and sparatic cultural events.

LoL, I just read the last line.. Damn I sound like an old lady. But i enjoy it, and thats what matters to me. I am not opposed to hanging out, partying and even taking a 'hit' here and there, but it definately is not the highlight of my life.

Sometimes I do feel bad that I cant be "the young chick partying".

I really do feel alone most of the time.

But you know what, Gotta stay Positive, no matter what.... My ultimate happiness will come again one day. It has too......

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