Friday, February 6, 2009


I've been in a small kind of funk as of lately........ Add Image

I dont know what it is. Between :

  • my job,

  • the mommy blues,

  • my apartment

  • my hiking business

  • my ex..

I've been nothing but a jumble of emotions.

I work long hours, but luckily not laborous.

I have plans on how I want my future to be, and after feeling what love is

like and can be, I feel kinda lonely lately. I'm very into living my life, my way

without the influences of other. But I cant help but to glance back at that distant

window of that possible "fairytale" future that brought a smile to my face.

For the first time in my life, I understood and felt the excitement of what it

means to live the life of Pleasantville.

Dont get me wrong I'm not that naive,

but I've never saw anything positive about having children, buying a house

or even getting married. It all seemed like Bollix Bullshit. In less than 3 mnths

the window was shut and the curtains was closed, and for while, as I looked back

on my previous existence everything seemed so bleak and hollow. Now I'm trying to decorate

that little hollow space with my own sad versions of that fairytale sight.

How do things change so quickly?

I guess its true what they say "You're born alone, so live alone, then die alone"

I hope it isnt true. I feel like I do alot of hoping. ........ .

LoL if worst comes to worst maybe I'll have a baby with my bestfriend, LMAO!!!


My apartment does not get an acceptable amount of sunlight in the living room, and it makes

me so annoyed and I dont wanna go in there cuz I feel depressed. I think a studio apt will be fine for me. I'm thinking about moving, but I'm not going to tell many people.

I'm trying to get my hiking business underway, but unfortunately I must depend on

other people for help and they dont take it as seriously as I do (obviously)....


On a lighter note... I was invited to a sexy lingerie party by my lesbian girlfriends on 2/13...

Eat your heart out boys.. LoLzZ

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