Sunday, January 25, 2009

Self Indulgence

Sometimes, I think of myself as this wonderful misunderstood adventurer
who lives the life that many people only dream of behind their cubicle.
I think that with this wonderful life, it has to be balanced out with
some kind of bad.. I will never be with anyone because of who I am. Its
my downfall also. Their cubicle may be boring but its safe. It means
food, a home, safety and security. My trails hold no promises.

I feel like such an outsider in my own life. I meet random people and
take part in whatever they bring to life that I like. And as time moves
on their presence stays in my past.

I indulge myself in everything and everyone that passes my way that is
in my reach. Even when I don't want it I can't say no. Like a crack
addict I feed this monster of an addiction. Its like another person
inside me that craves to burst out.

I know I can hurt people and I know that my addiction can lead to my
demise. I don't want that. I want to be normal.

Please let me be normal, take these addictions away....

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